Domestic Violence has Devastating Effects on the Children and Their Future

"We lose dignity if we tolerate the intolerable" (Unknown author)

My presence at Amnisty International in May 2015 and then my participation at the World’s March for Women October 4th 2015 to honour the missing and assassinated indigenous women has convinced me that it is impossible to dissociate mothers from the children in the project No Child Should Have to Take the Long Way Home.

All parents want to be able to provide for themselves and their family

All parents want to be able to provide for themselves and their family. They want to see their children have a better quality of life and to create rich, stimulating and engaging environments for them to explore. Too often, the chronic shortage of adequate housing does not offer optimal conditions for families to exercise their parental role. Poverty adds to this difficult situation making the children their first victims.

Children from all societies need to feel safe and confident

Childhood should be a carefree time, filled with play and cherished memories. Children from all societies need to feel safe and confident. Caring and supportive relationships are fundamental to encourage healthy learning experiences for children. Positive relationships foster feelings of safety and trust that all children need in order to explore and experiment with confidence.

Shaping a child in all spheres of his life for him to develop his resources

From the day he is born a child learns from his parents. All children need to develop a sense of self-worth, and a zest for healthy living and learning. Shaping a child in all spheres of his life for him to develop his resources and all his capacities requires that parents take into account what he needs to learn, grow and become an independent adult and socially competent.

Women and girls are members of communities and are a part of the social fabric

In our modern society, women and girls do not live in isolation. They are members of communities and are a part of the social fabric that contributes to what defines and fosters wellness for all. For healthy families and healthy communities, healthy mothers are needed and vice versa.

Domestic violence has devastating effects on the children and their future

But for many children, there is no acceptable support system; some are denied carefree activities. Poverty, overcrowding, substandard housing, lack of employment opportunities for their parents and costly nutrition have devastating effects on the children and their future.

When their mothers are victims of abuse, emotional and cognitive factors represent an important source of vulnerability. The plight of indigenous women deconstructs family and community ties. Safety is a major concern.

When mothers, who are financially dependent upon abusive spousal partners, face losing their ability to provide house, food and fear losing custody of their children to child services, they will be reluctant to disclose their victimization. Not surprisingly, this increases their reluctance to seek help for themselves or their children.

Violence in a family disrupts the relations between parents and their children 

When there is abuse in a family, the relations between parents and their children are disrupted. Vulnerability occurs in families where the needs for security, comfort and acceptance of a child are not met. In many indigenous and inuit communities, poverty, overcrowding, substandard and inadequate housing, the lack of job opportunities for their parents, as well as costly nutrition, have devastating effects on children and their future.

Women afraid of reprisals by their spouses and family hesitate to denounce the abuse

Women of indigenous and inuit communities who experience conjugal abuse from their spouses are often confronted to serious difficulties in accessing resources which could help them. This often reduces the victims to silence and contributes to greater isolation limiting their possibility to reveal the violence they are subjected to. In fact, in remote communities, few resources are available if needs arise during a situation of conjugal abuse. Certain shelters for battered women are far from the communities. The women fear to be separated from their children. Others, due to the pressures on the women who are in these shelters, are afraid of reprisals by their spouses and family, hesitating to denounce the violence.

Where there is violence, children's vulnerability increases

The feeling of  little or no control over the events of life can generate a vulnerability that places children at risk of developing anxiety and depressive disorders. Children's vulnerability to depression and suicide in instances where there is violence increases in several ways: modeling parental behaviors; negative feedbacks and poor interaction has the child develop dysfunctional patterns of perception of himself and others; lack of support and conflict expose children to a variety of chronic and intense stress.

Some families are unable to provide the necessities of life

Although there are many questions to which we do not have answers as to why some parents are not able to provide what has a direct positive impact on the lives of their children, some families are unable to provide the necessities of life. Because of poverty, lack of work opportunities, they experience powerlessness due to an inability to act. Lack of resources and power and a feeling of helplessness bring about frustrations often redirected toward family members.

We tolerate that children be raised in conditions incompatible with our Canadian standards

In a rich country like Canada with all its resources, it is inacceptable that we tolerate that children are raised in conditions incompatible with our standards, practices and particular needs of its populations, be they indigenous or not indigenous. The suicide rate in some communities is 25 times higher than the Canadian average.

To change the course of the lives of children

To change the course of the lives of children demands that the human environment examines the development of small humans and support them by first meeting their basic needs. Already existing-day care organizations, primary school, medical center and the CSSS, the Justice Committee and Well-Being Committee, to name but a few, will not only be invited to participate, they will lead the way.

Several fundamental rights and values, including equality and human dignity must be restored with regard to the special situation of the Indigenous and Inuit people. Not only must we provide families and communities the tools to deal with situations of violence, we must put forward better mechanisms to protect mothers and their children.

Ensure that families and communities are engaged in shaping their children

My meeting with SOS Children's Villages CEO convinced me that I have to think that the resources needed for the "child-centered" project will have to ensure that families and communities are engaged in shaping their children,  not only their education or even their medical care.


A holistic approach would provide support to children in all spheres of their lives so that they become beings with resources, capabilities, effective life skills, and the resilience necessary to succeed in life. Strengthening families will better prepare them to help their children become independent and socially competent adults.

Decisions taken to improve the protection and safety of women and girls in Indigenous and Inuit families is sensitive and must take into account the rights, interests and real needs of the people.

Respect and Value Diverse and Distinct Perspectives

Dignity plays a vital role in supporting complex decisions for the well-being of children and their families, wherever they reside. Human dignity and self-respect go hand in hand. For all that concerns the humans, what should move us to action, is dignity. Defined as an inherent condition, dignity is an inalienable right for everyone.